Here on vacation, thoughts flow much more freely over drinks. My surgical intern friend and I spent half an hour describing the annoying text pages we get in the middle of the night, all regarding very important -- rather: "important" -- topics. (Note: this is not meant to ridicule or take a swipe at nurses. It is how we amuse ourselves to get through the misery of this year.)
- Doctor doctor, please change Colace order from tid to bid. (really, this needs to be done at 4am?!)
- Doctor doctor, FYI: pt's blood sugar is 78, pt asymptomatic. (don't ever again page me to tell me pt is asymptomatic)
- Doctor doctor, pt's systolic blood pressure is 85, shall I give metoprolol? (no, which is why I wrote parameters to hold if SBP<90)
- Doctor doctor, pt is nauseous, please write for Zofran. (who are you? what pt is this for? how about a callback number?)
- Doctor doctor, pt doesn't feel well. please advise! (yup, we've gotten these!)
Luckily, laughing helps wash away the tears.