Feces and Food

Our hospital is pretty big. It has almost 400 beds, spread over 12 floors, with 4 wings on each floor. And the hospital is nearly always crowded, with its over 100 housestaff and nearly 500 other employees. Like I said, pretty big.

And now, all of a sudden, the hospital seems incredibly small ... unusually and suffocatingly and uncomfortably small. Not smart.

Dumbass Patient

I am on call right now and was walking to my call room when I heard a loud banging on the doors on the opposite side of the hospital (this hospital has a big open-air inside, much like a hotel, making it easy to see from one side to the other).

So ... I walked over to see what all the banging was -- maybe not the smartest of idea to investigate weird noises in the middle of the night -- and saw that it was a patient, who had locked himself out, after he had walked outside, for a smoke, with his oxygen tank. OK, that's not the smartest of ideas.